雅思G類大作文_工作類高分范文分析
2024-05-29 11:20:55 來源:中國教育在線
雅思G類大作文【工作類】高分范文分析,關于這個問題的答案,你想知道嗎?下面中國教育在線小編就來為各位小伙伴解答分享一下,想要了解的話,那就話不多說,趕緊往下看。
學習方法建議:(1)讀題,讀范文,讀譯文,積累ideas;(2)結合組長解析,梳理句式、語法、話題詞匯,并做筆記;(3)參考組長解析的方式,從全文結構、段落結構、中心句和支持句寫作與連接方式、語法結構、題目關鍵詞替換等方面對其他靠譜范文進行解析,這個過程是真正的寫作學習過程,7+考生都在用的方法,值得一試。
題目:Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
范文:461words,字數偏多,考試時寫270-280即可,300足夠。斜體為連接成分,下劃線為話題詞匯。
Nowadays many people work long hours, leaving them little time for leisure activities. There are some advantages in this situation, but personally I feel there are more disadvantages.
譯文:現在許多人長時間工作,沒什么時間進行休閑活動。這種情況有一些優(yōu)點,但個人看來我覺得缺點更多。
組長解析:開頭段第一句改述題目,第二句回應寫作任務的同時預告了全文結構:先說優(yōu)點,然后充分討論缺點。
The advantages include the possibility of earning more money, if the employer pays overtime for extra hours work. This can be a real bonus if someone is saving with a particular goal in mind: a holiday, for example, or saving to buy a house or flat. Another advantage might be that more time spent at workenables a more thorough knowledge and understanding of the job. Some professions such as law and accountancy require familiarity with a wide range of rules and requirements and these cannot all be learned through study; they have to be learned on the job. For younger people there is also the sheer stimulus of being involved in something they enjoy, so that they do not object to, or count, the hours they spend at work.
譯文:優(yōu)勢包括賺取更多錢的可能性,如果雇主支付加班費的話。這對正在為某事存錢的人來說是真正的獎勵,比如度假或買房。另一個優(yōu)勢是花更多時間工作會讓人對工作有更全面的理解。有些職業(yè),比如法律和會計,需要從業(yè)者熟悉大量的條款和規(guī)則,這些條款和規(guī)則要從工作中才能加深了解。對年輕人來說,加班純粹是出于做自己喜歡的事,所以他們不反感也不計較工時數。
組長解析:從三個方面解釋加班的好處,回應觀點句的前半部分。有些G友可能覺得這段的第一句不夠概括,組長認為,就有些題目而言,當開頭段的觀點句已經提到some advantages之類,第一個主體段可以直接從分論點說起,避免表達上的重復。語法方面使用了if句、情態(tài)動詞、現在進行時、被動語態(tài)等。
Unfortunately, if people do not have enough time to relax, there are quite major risks associated with this. Health often suffers, either physically or mentally, and sometimesboth. Taking time out for physical leisure activities has positive effects on health through the release of chemicals that make us feel better both physically and mentally. Other leisure activities may involve spending time with a group of people, activating skills other than those used at work and thus encouraging supportive social networks.
譯文:但是,如果人們沒有足夠的時間放松,會有相當大的風險。健康會受到影響,要么身體上要么精神上,有時兩者兼而有之。花時間做體育休閑活動通過釋放讓我們身心感覺更好的化學物質對健康產生積極作用。其他休閑活動可能涉及花時間和人們在一起,激活一些非工作技能并因此形成相互支持的社交網絡。
組長解析:開始論述加班多休閑少的缺點。第一句承上啟下;第二句介紹第一個缺點,從健康的角度;第三句通過把leisure activities具體到physical leisure activities來解釋休閑時間對健康的積極作用,用反證的方式說明加班多的壞處;第四句繼續(xù)從拓展leisure activities的角度說明休閑時間對人們(心理健康)的積極作用。語法方面使用了if句、that從句、分詞從句等,目標7+G友應注意分析高階語法的使用方式并運用到日常練寫中。
Friendships can also be weakened because of not making enough time to stay in touch, but using only a little of your free time to have a meal or go to the cinema with someone helps to maintain that friendship. Listening to your friends problems, or talking through your own, reinforces your relationship with them, as well as allowing you to switch off mentally from the things that have been happening at work. This distancing from work helps you to get things back into perspective and can sometimes help you to find solutions to matters that have been bothering you.
譯文:沒有給足夠的時間保持聯系會導致友誼弱化,用一點閑暇時間去和朋友吃個飯或去電影院就有助于維系友情。聽你的朋友吐槽,或說說你自己的煩惱,能夠加強你和他們的關系,還能讓你換換腦子,不去想工作上的事。這種從工作的脫離幫助你去把事情弄清楚,有時還能幫你找到那些一直困擾煩你的事情的解決方法。
組長解析:這一段論述加班多休閑少的第二個缺點,從社交的角度。第一句提出觀點,接下來的兩個長句結合生活實際解釋把休閑時間用來維系友情的好處,第三句提到了工作,說明了休閑時間與工作的關系,扣住了題目。語法上使用了被動語態(tài)、分詞短語、that從句、現在完成時,以及but, and, as well as等連接的復雜句。
Within a family situation a partner may feel neglected if the other one spends long hours away at work, or a child may feel neglected because mummy/daddy is never around for birthdays, school performance or a vital sports match. This lack of involvement is a major contributor to family breakdown, which in turn has wider repercussions in our society.
譯文:就家庭而言,如果一方長時間加班,另一方會感到被忽略,或者孩子會覺得被忽略因為媽媽或爸爸從來不出席自己的生日、學校表演或重要的體育比賽等活動。這種缺乏參與是家庭破碎的一個主要因素,會對社會產生更廣泛的不良影響。
組長解析:這一段論述加班多休閑少的第三個缺點,從家庭的角度。第一個句子比較長,對長句寫作把握不好的G友可以拆成兩句來表達同樣的觀點,準確最重要,不要為了復雜而復雜,否則容易出錯。語法上使用了情態(tài)動詞、if句、which從句等。
Work is a major part of our lives and it is to be hoped that many find it enjoyable, challenging and stimulating, but it is important to recognize the need for a work-life balance and to ensure that this is put into practice.
譯文:工作是我們生活的一個主要部分并且人們希望它是令人感到愉悅、挑戰(zhàn)和刺激的,但是認識到工作生活平衡并付諸實踐是很重要的。
組長解析:結尾段總結全文。
學習方法補充:平時使用英語較少的G友可以嘗試做互譯練習,即先把范文譯成中文,再對照中文譯成英文,把英文譯文與范文原文作對比,看在句式和用詞上有哪些出入,思考是否范文的句子和詞匯更好、更自然、更準確。這個過程可以提升英語表達的地道程度,讓作為native speaker的考官讀起你的作文來感覺更順暢。
組長的碎碎念:8分考生的寫作學習方法已經免費分享給大家不止一次了,在做的可能不多。目標6及以下的可能覺得自己要求不高應該有捷徑很快可以達到,目標7+的可能光顧著著急焦慮卻就是踏不下心來。沒關系,路就在這里,什么時候走上了,什么時候就快到目的地了。
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