Industries and businesses move to regional areas雅思寫(xiě)作6分大作文與分?jǐn)?shù)詳解

雅思寫(xiě)作大作文題目

Governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move from large cities to regional areas.Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

政府鼓勵(lì)企業(yè)從大城市前往郊區(qū)，其好處是否大于壞處？

雅思寫(xiě)作大作文范文

開(kāi)頭段

Industries and businesses are the primary concern in many cities since they make the town more congested and pollute the environment on the one hand,while creates job opportunities and contribute to the evolution of the town on the other hand.Many of the businesses are operated and encouraged in larger cities only.Allowing them to proceed to regional areas is a fantastic idea.I feel that it has more advantages than drawbacks.

雖然工業(yè)和商業(yè)創(chuàng)造工作機(jī)會(huì)并促進(jìn)城鎮(zhèn)發(fā)展，但它們也使城市變得更加擁堵并污染環(huán)境，因此它們是許多城市關(guān)心的主要問(wèn)題。許多公司都只在大城市中運(yùn)營(yíng)。讓它們前往郊區(qū)是個(gè)很好的主意。我覺(jué)得其好處大于壞處。

遷移的好處1

There are several benefits why businesses should move to regional locations,and the authorities must take initiatives to achieve that.The most important aspect is the development of regional areas.Setting up rural area enterprises will help create the necessary infrastructures like transportation facilities,roads,and electricity in the rural regions.Also,the region’s financial activity increases,and that will let the government take additional initiatives to develop this suburb place.

公司遷往郊區(qū)有許多好處。政府必須采取措施來(lái)實(shí)現(xiàn)它。最重要的方面就是郊區(qū)的發(fā)展。在郊外設(shè)置企業(yè)會(huì)創(chuàng)造出必要的基礎(chǔ)設(shè)施，如交通、道路、電力等。除此之外，郊區(qū)的經(jīng)濟(jì)活動(dòng)上升，會(huì)讓政府采取更多措施發(fā)展該地區(qū)。

遷移的好處2

Regional offices are often valuable to expand businesses and decrease production and operating costs.Hence many big industries would be benefited from this.Again,the pressure on the large cities would reduce,reducing many serious issues such as pollutions,traffic jams,and waste management.

郊區(qū)政府對(duì)發(fā)展商業(yè)和降低生產(chǎn)運(yùn)營(yíng)成本也很有幫助。因此許多大型企業(yè)能夠從中受益。此外，大城市的壓力也會(huì)減少，降低諸如污染、交通堵塞以及垃圾管理等方面的問(wèn)題。

遷移的壞處

Regardless of this,there are several disadvantages of transferring the businesses and industries to regional locations.One of the prominent drawbacks is the manipulation of natural resources.The business will use various sorts of resources like forests and water sources to cause environmental degradation such as pollution,climate change,and much more.Finally,moving the industry to another place involves a considerable amount of costs,and the businesses would not want to devote this naturally.

盡管如此，將企業(yè)搬遷到郊外也有許多缺陷。最明顯的缺點(diǎn)是對(duì)自然資源的操縱。企業(yè)會(huì)使用諸如森林和水源等資源，進(jìn)而引發(fā)環(huán)境退化，如污染、氣候變化等。最后，企業(yè)搬遷涉及巨大的成本，企業(yè)不會(huì)自愿這么做。

結(jié)論

All in all,comparing the fantastic appearance and lousy look,I believe that the government must encourage the chosen businesses to move to regional areas where they would function in a much better fashion to enhance the economy and environment and inhabitants.

總的來(lái)說(shuō)，比較優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)之后，我認(rèn)為政府應(yīng)該鼓勵(lì)特定的企業(yè)搬到郊外。在那里，他們能夠更好的運(yùn)營(yíng)，并提升經(jīng)濟(jì)、環(huán)境和居民的生活水平。

給分原因

寫(xiě)作任務(wù)回應(yīng)情況：5分

回應(yīng)了題目所要求的對(duì)企業(yè)搬遷優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)的討論，但對(duì)優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)的比較缺乏說(shuō)服力。雖然提出了多個(gè)論點(diǎn)，但基本均未展開(kāi)或者論證不充分，而且會(huì)出現(xiàn)無(wú)關(guān)的細(xì)節(jié)。與此同時(shí)，結(jié)論中提升環(huán)境的說(shuō)法與前文論文有些矛盾。

連貫與銜接：6分

能夠組織相應(yīng)信息和論點(diǎn)，總體而言能夠推動(dòng)行文發(fā)展。但句子內(nèi)、句子間的銜接有時(shí)過(guò)于機(jī)械。無(wú)法一貫清晰的使用指代。

詞匯豐富程度：6分

使用足夠的詞匯開(kāi)展寫(xiě)作任務(wù)，試圖使用不常用的詞匯，但有時(shí)使用的不準(zhǔn)確（如manipulation of natural resources,financial activity increases）等。

語(yǔ)法多樣性及準(zhǔn)確性：6分

綜合使用簡(jiǎn)單句式與復(fù)雜句式。雖然沒(méi)有明顯的語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤，但句子太過(guò)雜糅，而且有重復(fù)的部分。

>> 雅思 托福 免費(fèi)測(cè)試、量身規(guī)劃、讓英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)不再困難<<